MY TESTIMONY WITH ZOMO

This gave me much hope! I was diagnosed with Dementia when I was 63 years old and am now 71 years old, Took me years to get it all balanced, I could say the results were shattering, but in a way the diagnosis was a relief: to have a name for the paranoia, the white vans following me whenever I left the house, an explanation for the voices, the dialogue constantly critiquing my actions. I wanted to retire from my job but felt like I was drifting farther and farther from reality. There, in my apartment, I began to have intense auditory hallucinations that I could not distinguish from actual voices.  The manias I suffered at that time were sleeping and unstoppable, the depressions hit as well;  "I am not proud to say", I spent whole summers drinking until four am and then sleeping until four pm, lying restless until it got dark again. It's so sad to be in a country that doesn't have medical subsidies for these kind of situations. My main problems was anhedonia, there simply is no pleasure from doing anything..medications don't really help this issue..anhedonia means no motivation. That leaden, hopeless, bottomless feeling I couldn’t escape even when I decided to move to aother city, opening the door to grandiose mania, enhanced with my newfound cocaine addiction.  Working my way through the low-income clinics in an effort to stay medication-complaint, I found it almost impossible to get a psychiatrist who could address my issues or a consistent therapist. I was a vain, arrogant, self-absorbed little twat at that time, living out with the brittle conviction that I could only stay with damaged people because I myself was mentally ill, and that cocaine was the answer to all of my social, creative, and weight control problems. That trainwreck imploded on-schedule after five years, having maxed out my credit cards paying rent on a spendy studio apartment, as family don’t like living with mentally ill drug addicts.  I was broke, emaciated,  I moved home. A year of visits to the county mental health clinic for medication monitoring, One other thing happened in that year: my psychiatrist started me on Ativan, a potent anti-anxiety medication that I loved with a sick and seething hunger and was later to become totally dependent on. I was drinking two bottles of wine a day along with my medication, this time, Abilify, Ativan, Lexapro.  I wasn’t eating. My work place existed in a constant dull roar of voices, and out of those voices I would consistently hear my colleaques talking about me, jeering, joking, saying derogatory things. To this day I do not know how much of what I heard was a prodromal hallucination. In my first year I was hospitalized due to psychosis.  I saw Jesus beckoning from heaven and the Grim Reaper at the foot of my bed, clear and unmoving for hours and I screamed and screamed.  In four days I came out having made friends on the inside and lost them on the outside. I tried to come to terms with the fact that my life was over, that I was never going to be able to do anything ever again, that my light was going out and soon it would be dark.

I improved dramatically when I got ZOMO which rebuild my life, I started making progress in speech and made peace with my past and those who hurt me so badly. Unlike my old psychiatrist, who kept prescribing the same drugs that didn’t work, Dr. Charanjit made an effort to listen to my symptoms and treat them.  Slowly, gradually, over a period of one month, the voices dulled to a whisper. With ZOMO medication, I was able to differentiate between delusional night terrors and the inevitable dawn. I began to move back into normal society. Then things began to change. The long struggle was worth it. I am now loving life, like to be around people and have fun, and laugh!  I have been off ZOMO Herbs for about 2 years now I am no more dependent on Ativan, as well as Lexapro. Breaking out of the isolation and talking to people who did not know about my illness was and still is a problem for me. I have a circle of loyal friends. I have my partner, which is my wife  I don't have symptoms anymore. Recovery involves knowing your limits. It took me a long time to figure that out. Now I realize I'm lucky because my illness doesn't allow me to run the rate race. I can enjoy my time because I have a lot of time. Anyways, so sorry for the long note.

---Charles Peewee Lindsey